Haunted
by HeartQuaffle2829
Summary: Adrianna didn't know what it was like to not be numb, she was used to it. She didn't know what it was like to not be ignored, she was used to that too. Adrianna also didn't know what it was like to be loved, she most defiantly was not used to that. What will happen when Remus Lupin takes notice of the girl who tries her best to be ignored? (Dark fic - may be triggering)
1. Chapter 1

She looked out into the sky. The black, black sky. There were no stars. Nothing but black.

The cold air whipped her face, her black hair flying around her. Her pale skin seemed to glisten in the moonlight. Her emerald eyes showing nothing but pain.

She could hear the noises of the wind surrounding her, blocking out everything but a few howls from the forest. It seemed to just be her. Her against the world. Except, the world had already won. The world had already ruined her.

She slowly closed her eyes, for the last time. She spread her arms out besides her and gently smiled. Slowly she began to shift her weight forwards, a little more, a little more.

Once she was only on her tiptoes, she smiled again. Her face seemed to show peace, not the pain that was usually there.

She shifted her weight forwards once more and was then gliding through the air. Her hair whipped around but she was completely relaxed.

Finally Adrianna Hayes was at peace.

Finally Adrianna Hayes was no longer haunted.


	2. Chapter 2

Adrianna slowly made her way to the great hall, sticking close to the shadows. As she crept down the hall she couldn't help but admire the silence around her. It was so peaceful and so different than she was used to.

Her feet carried her to the gryffindor table, where she sat in the corner, ignored.

Adrianna slowly pushed the food around her plate, then took a sip of water. She continued to play with her food, incase someone noticed her lack of eating.

She looked up what she heard the loud voices of the marauders entering the hall. First came James Potter, quidditch star and gryffindor golden boy. He was very handsome, but the love of his life was Lily Evans... Hogwarts golden girl and perfect in every way possible. Not that she had ever tried to befriend Adrianna. Next came Sirius Black, womaniser, arrogant and very handsome. He had a serious grudge against slytherin though. He was followed by Peter Pettigrew, shy, not very talented but he seems nice enough. He is not as handsome as the others and he knows it. lastly came Remus Lupin, bookworm, sweetheart, barely dated anyone and Adrianna may have been harbouring a slight crush on him. For the past 6 years.

Adrianna let her eyes follow Remus Lupin. She studied everything about him, like every other morning. But he didn't notice. He never did. She watched what food he ate, how he sat, what he drunk. She was fascinated by him and had to know everything about him. After 6 years she could confidently say that he was perfect.

When it was time to go to their first lesson she made her way to charms, staying out of everyone's way and sticking to the shadows. Like always.


	3. Chapter 3

Adrianna sticks to the corner of the gryffindor common room, noticing everything but not being noticed herself. She slowly shifts her weight forwards, careful not to make any quick movements incase she attracted any unwanted attention. Her emerald eyes slowly scanned the room, taking in all of the details, every stain on the brown carpet, every crease in the red curtains, every chip in the ageing windows, every mark in the scarlet couch. Then she continued to analysis the details of the people in the room.

Her eyes first rested on a small girl, probably a first year. This girl was also looking around the room, analysing everything in awe. The girl must still be in shock even though the sorting was a week ago. Perhaps she is a muggle born, that would explain how her curious young eyes were still scouting the room for more details. The girl looked over to the area where the self proclaimed 'marauders' sat. Her hazel eyes widened when she saw how tall they were, giants compared to the small girl. Adrianna watched as the girl looked at the marauders in admiration. The girls eyes snapped back to the group of first years as Sirius Black felt her gaze and turned his head, his shoulder length black locks swinging in perfection. That was the only word that most of the population of hogwarts would describe Sirius Black, perfection. His grey eyes were enchanting, his olive complexion made his grey eyes stand out even more. His signature smirk made the female population swoon. And his black hair, perfect length for running your fingers through, made girls lust over him more. He used his hair as a curtain so that all that could be seen of his perfect face was his eyes, this is one of his signature moves. Adrianna watched as Sirius Black turned back around, unfazed by the feeling of someone watching him, he was used to it after all.

She continued to watch the rest of the gryffindor population, hey eyes now resting on a boy who looked like he was in his fourth year. He had ginger hair and brown eyes. She noticed the scattering of freckles that covered his nose, the plain curiosity and longing for adventure glistening in his eyes. Adrianna found herself wishing she could want that. Wishing that she could dream of a future like those surrounding her do, she often heard her peers telling each other of their dream jobs, the marauders want to be aurors, lily Evans wants to be a healer, a girl in fifth year wants to be a dragon trainer. Adrianna has no hopes or dreams, she just wants to stay hidden and unnoticed. Sometimes she wishes that she did have aspirations.

Adrianna longs for her bed, but none are going upstairs. She knows that if she moves now she will be noticed. That is why she goes to bed when the majority of the gryffindor common room does, that way she will be in the crowd where no one will notice her stick out, and she won't be left behind as one of the few people in the common room. The last people in the common room are always aware of each other. She did not want that.

When she finally got the chance to go to her room she changed quickly and got into her bed. She always got into bed before her roommates came upstairs, she was pretty sure that they didn't even know that she existed. For all they knew her bed was a spare bed. Adrianna let her thoughts absorb her, she let in the thoughts that she usually tries to limit during the day. The thoughts that somehow made the room feel darker, emptier and colder. Before Adrianna knew she was doing it she had pulled her blanket up to her chest, trying to block out the cold. Goose pimples were prominent on her pale skin.

Her dark thoughts were drowning her, like every other night. Reminding her that she wasn't worth noticing, that this was proved by the hogwarts population. Slowly Adrianna pulled out her razor blade, making as little movement as possible in her desperate attempt to reach the little black box she kept them in. The others weren't in the room yet but it was still her instinct to move slowly in case of drawing attention to herself. She cradled the little box to her chest and drew the curtains closed around her bed. Then she slowly opened the box, picking out one of the blades. She replaced the lid and put the box under her pillow. Slowly she drew the blade across the pale skin of her wrist, somewhere in the back of her mind she recognised that the room was beginning to be filled by the other girls. This wasn't however what she was worrying about, she was instead focused on the pain coming from her wrist, slowly she drew another line with the blade, blood dripping from the wound. The thoughts were beginning to fade, but Adrianna kept slitting her wrist. With each cut she made the thoughts drained more. Soon they stopped, so she stopped slashing her wrist with the razor. Her world was becoming dizzy, blackening. Adrianna welcomed the blackness, the pain free oblivion which she knew would only last until the morning as she finally fainted on her pillow, blood still dripping down her wrist.


	4. Chapter 4

When Adrianna woke she knew that if was too early. There was no light and her roommates were still asleep, slowly she crept out of the bed and into the bathroom, shutting the door and casting a silencing spell in her head. She was good at casting spells in her head, that way no attention was brought to herself for talking. Then she slowly turned on the taps, washing away the dried blood and stifling a gasp at the pain from the water touching her scars. Adrianna turned off the taps, telling herself that she deserves the pain, she caused it.

Adrianna went back into her room and, noticing that no one was awake crept down the stairs into the Gryffindor common room. Tap. Tap. Tap. She heard her own feet. It was loud, anyone could hear her. Anyone could notice her.

When her bare feet met the carpeted floor of the common room she sighed in her head, no one was down here. Slowly she made her way over to the window and perched herself on the window sill, looking out at the almost full moon. By her prediction it should be full in two days. She loved the moon, it noticed her but never commented, never drew attention to her. She felt like the moon was her only companion, her only friend. If she could use that word. She admired the moon, noticing all of the indentations on it's surface. The moon was a lot like herself in some ways, the surface was indented, it was quiet, always watching, nothing was close to it, nothing tried to understand it. She felt like she could confide in the moon, if she wished to. The moon was also very different to herself, the main reason being that the moon was noticed by everyone, loved by nearly everyone. She said nearly because she knew that one person in this school did not like the moon. That was one of the only good points of noticing everything but not being noticed herself. She knew. She knew of those secrets no one wanted to tell. She knew that Lily Evans has actually loved James since fifth year but has been trying to convince herself otherwise. She knew that Severus Snape has been introduced to the death eaters. She knew that Peter Pettigrew looked up to the death eaters. She knew that professor Slughorn was being ridiculed by the other teachers for so blatantly having favourite students. And she knew that Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

While Adrianna thought about the moon she didn't notice a figure come down the stairs opposite her, if she had she might have had the chance to make a quick escape. But as fate had it, she didn't notice, so she did not get out of sight in time. She stared up at the moon, the image making her emerald eyes glow. The boy walked into the common room and stopped when he saw her figure. He had never seen her before, but this was strange. She looked to be in seventh year, the same as him. How could he not have noticed her? If he were Sirius then it should have been expected, but it was not like Remus Lupin to ignore a fellow student.

He stepped closer to her, taking in every detail about her, trying to remember her from anywhere. He just couldn't place her. He soon got close enough to hear her breathing. This was when Adrianna realised that there was someone behind her. She slowly turned, not wanting to draw the persons attention incase they hadn't already noticed her. Adrianna recognised that Remus Lupin stood behind her, watching her.

"Hello" he said kindly, so Adrianna did the only thing she could do in this situation. She ran.


	5. Chapter 5

When Adrianna reached her room she realised that it was 6.30, the time she usually rises. Quickly she showered, got dressed and left the tower. Taking her time and going the longer way to the great hall in order to not be the first there she walked in the shadows. Her dark hair was in curtains around her pale face, successfully hiding her if someone were to look.

She entered the great hall and went to her corner, sitting down and pulling food that she wasn't going to eat onto her plate. The hall began to fill up as she tried in vain to shrink even more into the shadows.

When the marauders entered the room she looked up at them, Sirius Black entered first, flirting with several girls in different houses. Then came James Potter, talking excitedly with Peter Pettigrew about this years quidditch matches, lastly came Remus Lupin, who seemed to be looking around the hall for someone. His eyes settled on the gryffindor table, roaming over each face and studying them. What was he doing? This was not his normal behaviour, he usually goes straight to their spot on the table. His eyes were getting steadily closer to Adrianna. What if he recognised her? What if he noticed her? She couldn't have that. She slowly shifted her position to face away from Remus Lupin and began to play with her food. She knew that he wouldn't notice her but she was preparing for the rare possibility that he would.

She studied her food, fruit. She had picked two strawberries and a banana. Pushing them around her plate she dared to look at Remus Lupin, trying to see if he had seen her.

She turned her head ever so slightly, so that she could see out of her curtain of hair but no one could see her. Glancing at Remus she found that her was staring intently at her. No. He needs to look away. His friends will wonder why he's looking at her. They will look. No. He will draw too much attention to her. Attention that Adrianna didn't want.

Frantically she looked back at her food, trying to forge a plan as to how to get out of the great hall without drawing attention to herself. She would just have to go. Many people come in and out of the great hall at this time everyday. She slowly rose and exited the hall, looking back only once. That was when she noticed Remus excusing himself. She walked faster and faster until she was almost running down the hall. Adrianna entered the library and hid. Back in the divination section, which was so rarely visited there was dust collecting on the books. She crouched behind the shelf and peered through a hole in the shelf. He entered the library. No. He would find her. No. This could not be happening. She became still, barely breathing. Then he noticed her eyes. He began to approach her as she frantically tried to make an escape plan. Run. That was all she could do.

She scrambled to her feet and ran to the back of the library, and out of the side door which not many people knew about. She ran towards the common room, wincing at how loud her footsteps were. She heard another pair, quickly she turned around and saw Remus Lupin. And he was catching up to her. She ran harder and faster entering the common room and running up the stairs. She was only half way up when the stairs turned into a slide. Adrianna's eyes went wide as she fell down the stairs and into Remus lupin's arms. She squirmed and tried to rise and climb up the stairs again.

"Please stop running." He said. Then he held her hand, preventing her escape.

"Why?" Adrianna asked quietly. Remus barely hear her, but he replied;

"Because I want to know who you are"

Adrianna couldn't help but be stunned, by the softness of his voice, the kindness of his words and the total abnormality of the whole situation. Slowly she shook her head then pulled on her hand. He wouldn't let her go though. "Please"

She shook her head again, more unsure this time. "Please let me go" she said softly. Remus was so shocked by her pleading tone that he dropped her hand. She took this time to climb up the stairs to the girls dorm, then she climbed into her bed.

Her thought came flooding back to her, telling her that she wasn't worth his time. That he would get over it soon enough and forget her. She pulled out her razor blades, faster than before, more desperate. She drew the blade across her skin and she heard the voices fade. Her thoughts finally leaving her. The last thing she heard before she blacked out was

"What's you're name?"


	6. Chapter 6

When Adrianna reached her room she realised that it was 6.30, the time she usually rises. Quickly she showered, got dressed and left the tower. Taking her time and going the longer way to the great hall in order to not be the first there she walked in the shadows. Her dark hair was in curtains around her pale face, successfully hiding her if someone were to look.

She entered the great hall and went to her corner, sitting down and pulling food that she wasn't going to eat onto her plate. The hall began to fill up as she tried in vain to shrink even more into the shadows.

When the marauders entered the room she looked up at them, Sirius Black entered first, flirting with several girls in different houses. Then came James Potter, talking excitedly with Peter Pettigrew about this years quidditch matches, lastly came Remus Lupin, who seemed to be looking around the hall for someone. His eyes settled on the gryffindor table, roaming over each face and studying them. What was he doing? This was not his normal behaviour, he usually goes straight to their spot on the table. His eyes were getting steadily closer to Adrianna. What if he recognised her? What if he noticed her? She couldn't have that. She slowly shifted her position to face away from Remus Lupin and began to play with her food. She knew that he wouldn't notice her but she was preparing for the rare possibility that he would.

She studied her food, fruit. She had picked two strawberries and a banana. Pushing them around her plate she dared to look at Remus Lupin, trying to see if he had seen her.

She turned her head ever so slightly, so that she could see out of her curtain of hair but no one could see her. Glancing at Remus she found that her was staring intently at her. No. He needs to look away. His friends will wonder why he's looking at her. They will look. No. He will draw too much attention to her. Attention that Adrianna didn't want.

Frantically she looked back at her food, trying to forge a plan as to how to get out of the great hall without drawing attention to herself. She would just have to go. Many people come in and out of the great hall at this time everyday. She slowly rose and exited the hall, looking back only once. That was when she noticed Remus excusing himself. She walked faster and faster until she was almost running down the hall. Adrianna entered the library and hid. Back in the divination section, which was so rarely visited there was dust collecting on the books. She crouched behind the shelf and peered through a hole in the shelf. He entered the library. No. He would find her. No. This could not be happening. She became still, barely breathing. Then he noticed her eyes. He began to approach her as she frantically tried to make an escape plan. Run. That was all she could do.

She scrambled to her feet and ran to the back of the library, and out of the side door which not many people knew about. She ran towards the common room, wincing at how loud her footsteps were. She heard another pair, quickly she turned around and saw Remus Lupin. And he was catching up to her. She ran harder and faster entering the common room and running up the stairs. She was only half way up when the stairs turned into a slide. Adrianna's eyes went wide as she fell down the stairs and into Remus lupin's arms. She squirmed and tried to rise and climb up the stairs again.

"Please stop running." He said. Then he held her hand, preventing her escape.

"Why?" Adrianna asked quietly. Remus barely hear her, but he replied;

"Because I want to know who you are"

Adrianna couldn't help but be stunned, by the softness of his voice, the kindness of his words and the total abnormality of the whole situation. Slowly she shook her head then pulled on her hand. He wouldn't let her go though. "Please"

She shook her head again, more unsure this time. "Please let me go" she said softly. Remus was so shocked by her pleading tone that he dropped her hand. She took this time to climb up the stairs to the girls dorm, then she climbed into her bed.

Her thought came flooding back to her, telling her that she wasn't worth his time. That he would get over it soon enough and forget her. She pulled out her razor blades, faster than before, more desperate. She drew the blade across her skin and she heard the voices fade. Her thoughts finally leaving her. The last thing she heard before she blacked out was

"What's you're name?"


	7. Chapter 7

When she woke she noticed the noise of the room. The other girls were back. Adrianna decided to stay in her bed, she wouldn't move. That way she wouldn't draw their attention. She listened intently, trying to tell when they would leave.

"What do you think Remus meant?" Came the voice of Mary McDonnell.

"I'm not sure Mar, there isn't anyone else in 7th year." Replied Marlene McKinnon.

"But what if he likes someone from a different house and thinks she's a gryffindor. He'll like her no matter what. He doesn't like me, does he?" Mary said desperately.

"Mary, Remus likes you. It's obvious." Lily Evans interjected. Adrianna felt her heart sink.

"Lils, what if there is another girl in 7th year gryffindor?" Asked Alice Pevrell.

"What do you mean Alice? We would know her and be friends." Lily said.

"But that bed. The curtains are always pulled around it, what of someone actually sleeps in it?" She pointed out. Adrianna knew that this was it, they were going to find her. She closed her eyes and faked sleep. She heard the footsteps draw closer and closer. Then her curtains were pulled back. Several gasps sounded above her.

"Oh my Merlin" Marlene exclaimed.

"Shhh Marlene, you might wake her" lily said.

"How do we not know her?" Alice asked quietly.

"I'm not sure." Marlene replied quietly.

"Do you think that Remus noticed her?" Mary asked.

"Oh hunny no! If we didn't notice her then he defiantly didn't" lily replied.

"Besides you're prettier than her" Marlene said.

"Marlene, that's horrible!" Mary exclaimed.

"But it's true." Said Marlene. "Come on guys, you know it's true."

"It is true Mary." Alice said.

"Yeah, it is." Lily agreed.

Adrianna felt herself crack but she stayed still, wishing that they would leave. As if they could hear her thoughts they left her bed, leaving her curtains drawn open. She stayed as still as she could until she heard them all fall asleep. She then rose and pulled out a blade. Adrianna then caressed her skin with the blade, drawing blood as she did. Today she didn't black out, she left herself with no bad thoughts but a sever pain in her wrist. Slowly she crawled out of the bed and downstairs, her wrist still bleeding out.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and sat on the same seat as she did yesterday. She looked out to the moon and sighed, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks.

"Are you ok?" Came a voice from behind her, not only a voice but the voice of Remus Lupin. When Adrianna whipped around and saw Remus behind her she realised that she forgot to check who was in the common room.

Adrianna let out a squeak. "Sorry. Didn't know you were down here." She said quickly before rising to her feet.

"Please stop running. I just want to talk." He said and sounded exhausted.

"Sorry." She said. Slowly she made her way to the settee and perched on it, carefully placing her bloody wrists out of sight.

Remus seemed surprised by her reaction but happily sat down besides her. "Please tell me your name" he said slowly.

"Adrianna Hayes." she replied quietly.

"Adrianna. That's pretty, it suits you. My name is Remus Lupin" he replied.

"Adrianna means dark. I already knew your name Remus." She replied, staring intently into the fire and avoiding his gaze.

"Adrianna, how have I not seen you before last night?" He asked, still desperately trying to catch her gaze.

"I was careless last night. I should have been listening but I wasn't." She replied vaguely.

"What do you mean Adrianna?"

"I don't let people see me. I'm usually careful. Last night I was not." She replied. Adrianna suddenly felt very heavy. She could feel herself nearly blacking out. "I need to go." She said before rising to her feet and unsteadily making her way to the stairs.

Adrianna felt herself fall to the floor, no longer able to use her limbs.

"Adrianna!" Remus exclaimed before dropping to his knees besides her.

"Remus." She said softly before her eyes closed.


	8. Chapter 8

White.

Everything is white.

'Am I dead' Adrianna thought in her head, slightly more happy at the thought than most would be.

"Adrianna" said a quiet voice, one she recognised. One she had been listening to for over 6 years now. Adrianna felt her body stiffen as she shut her eyes again and pretended to be asleep, or dead. Maybe both.

"I know you're awake Adrianna." He said softly. Adrianna didn't move.

"Please look at me." He said almost begging. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw the figure of Remus Lupin perched at the end of her bed. After taking in every feature of him she slowly looked around the room. She knew where she was but she had never been here before, she was too careful for that.

"What am I doing here?" She asked quietly.

"I could ask you the same thing. You blacked out and i carried you here." He explained.

"I was just feeling faint. I haven't slept well lately. I have to go. I will miss lessons." She said quietly then rose to her feet unsteadily.

"I'll take you to the common room" he offered, but she declined quickly.

"You will attract too much attention. Thank you for being so nice." She said before quickly scuttling out of the room. Remus noticed how, even though she had bare feet, she barely made a noise. She must be practised at avoiding people. He decided that he needs to see her again. He quickly leaves the hospital wing and runs to the common room. He entered just as she ran down the stairs.

"I need to know you." He admitted before she could say anything.

Her mouth fell open. This was what she had been dreaming of for 6 years and it was finally happening, but she was going to say no. What had happened to her normal life in the past few days?

"No, they will notice me." She said, her voice and eyes pleading with him.

"I don't care if they notice, but I need to know you Adrianna. Please." He begged.

"I do care if they notice, Remus. Everything about me screams different and I can't be noticed." She exclaimed, still managing to stay quiet.

"I will do anything I can to not let anyone know about you." He said coming closer to her.

"No, you are a marauder. They will see me." She said.

"But I need to see you." Came the marauders reply. He leaned down and looked her in the eyes. His amber eyes staring into her emerald eyes.

"I- I can't" Adrianna barely was able to choke the words out, her breath too caught in her throat.

"How about if we only see each other at night?" He asked, looking deep into her eyes. She did everything in her power to deny him but before she knew what she was doing Adrianna breathlessly replied, "okay".


	9. Chapter 9

Adrianna went about her day normally. Sticking to the shadows, keeping her head down. Her eyes often wandered to Remus Lupin. This wasn't abnormal for her, however on this day the amber eyes stared back.

She would often catch herself wanting to look at the boy and denying her need. After all, he was just a curious boy. A girl he has never seen before, he wants to find out more. How could she be so elusive? He was but a young boy with a thirst for knowledge. This is by no means a bad thing on his half, but it doesn't mean that he will care for her once he has found out all he needs to know. Adrianna's thoughts were tearing at he insides, trying to pull her apart. Her wrists itched.

Pushing aside these thoughts until later she reminded herself of the current position of the moon. Remus Lupin will be otherwise occupied tonight, meaning that Adrianna need not worry about his curiosity for a little while longer. Relief swelled in her chest, but soon to be squashed as she once again meet the eyes of a certain werewolf. In his amber eyes she saw a mixture of emotions, curiosity, longing, confusion, sadness and worry. But she turned her eyes away as her quill suddenly became very interesting.

Adrianna let her fingers slowly trace the sleeve of her jumper, sliding underneath the fabric to glide over fresh scars, not healed properly. Adrianna knew what would happen if she were just to apply a slight pressure. She had done so before.

Slowly she pressed one finger down, the pain she felt so familiar that she welcomed it. However she knew that she mustn't press too hard, she mustn't faint in class. She almost shuddered at the thought of how much attention that would attract.

When the bell rung she rose to her feet at a moderate pace and packed up, waiting for the flood of students, in which she could easily blend in. As she snuck out of the classroom Adrianna could feel the piercing gaze of Remus Lupin, however she ignored him and continued walking. This was continued throughout the day, until lunch... When Remus Lupin was mysteriously taken to visit his 'sick mother'.

The rest of the day was normal, sticking to the shadows, being invisible, observing those around her. Adrianna made sure that she didn't stick out, and when she finally made her way to bed, she pulled out the little black box once again.


	10. Chapter 10

Adrianna woke with a hazy feeling, the room was silent. Slowly she pulled her legs over the side of the red blanket and placed her feet on the cold floor. She searched the blankets for a hint of silver, and after picking up the blade, she placed it back in the black box.

She wanted to go downstairs and watch the moon, but she knew that the marauders would be returning at any moment. Instead she settled for tiptoeing into the bathroom. She locked the door, pulled down the lid of the toilet seat and sat, consumed in her own silence. Thoughts raced around her over active brain. She caught herself before a tear fell, she mustn't cry. She is not weak. Crying is futile, it won't change a thing.

Tap

Tap

Footsteps. There were footsteps outside the door. What if they wanted to use the bathroom? They were going to catch her! No, she worked so hard to avoid her roommates at all costs. She cannot be caught now. The doorknob turns.

"Oh" a gentle voice says from outside the door. It is the voice of Lily Evans. There is nothing that Adrianna can do, she is trapped. "Hello?" Lily's voice fills the air. "Ummm is that our other roommate? I- I know that the others would have replied by now... Or gotten up louder as I'm a light sleeper." She paused, as if waiting for a reply, which she wasn't going to receive. It seems that she realised this as she soon filled the silence again. "I'm sorry about not... Knowing you and that. I would like to be your friend. Please?" Her gentle voice seemed like it was about to break.

Adrianna could feel her resolve wavering. No. She mustn't crumble. Lily will hate her anyway. Everyone hates her. What is to love? No. Lily will just hurt her. She can't be hurt... Not again.

Adrianna laid her head on the wall, she wouldn't leave until lily was asleep again, she cannot be caught.

After a couple hours of silence Adrianna slowly exited the bathroom and made her way over to her bed. She quickly changed and grabbed her bag, but when she turned around she was met with the brightest emerald eyes she had ever seen.

"Hello."

Adrianna froze before doing the only thing she was good at. She ran.


	11. Chapter 11

Her feet carried her to the only place she knew that she was safe, the astronomy tower. Adrianna managed to avoid anyone who may have seen her, and more importantly she managed to avoid Lily. How had she been so stupid as to let Lily see her? Idiot.

The cold floor against her bare feet made her shiver silently, not that she took much notice. Adrianna was too absorbed in her thoughts to let anything distract her. She had managed to go six years without drawing any attention to herself. How, in the space of a month, had all of the girls in her dorm and Remus Lupin all seen her? She was getting clumsy, not paying attention. Adrianna decided from here on that she would sink into the shadows, more so than she did before. She must disappear before more people notice her.

Lost in her thoughts, Adrianna didn't realise that she had reached the top of the astronomy tower. As she realised she looked around, making sure that she was alone. When Adrianna realised that she was, a gentle sigh escaped her chapped lips. Softly Adrianna's hands brushed against the cool metal bars, letting her feet and hands be overwhelmed by the cold. She didn't know why but she found peace in the cold. Her eyes slowly closed, letting Adrianna take in the sounds around her. Owls hooting in the night, centaurs rustling in the forest and even the odd bird, brave enough to face the horrors of the forbidden forest at night. Adrianna admired those birds, so little in comparison to everything surrounding them and yet still brave enough to face them without cowering away. She found herself wishing she was that bird, or at least as brave as that bird. But alas, the bird moved on and Adrianna was still on the tower, wishing that she was brave enough to go back to her room.

Adrianna found herself gently sliding down the wall, until she was sat on the cool ground below her. The shadows overtook her form, morphing it into a different shape, almost as if she were not there at all.

_Pat. Pat. Pat. _

The sound of footsteps shook Adrianna out of her trance-like state. Someone was coming. She shifted back, hiding herself from sight completely. As the figure appeared in the doorway Adrianna allowed herself to peak through a gap in the wall. _Remus_. Puzzled, Adrianna continued to watch, wondering why the boy had turned up here. He scouted the room and then let out a deep sigh when he saw that it was empty. Was he here to be alone too?

"Oh Adrianna." He whispered. Adrianna froze, scared to move a muscle, scared to even breath. Her every muscle was on fire, she felt as if the slightest movement would give away her hiding spot, if he didn't already know it that is.

"Why do you run off?" He asked the air, making Adrianna stiffen even more.

"Why didn't you just talk to Lily? Why don't you just talk to me? What's wrong with me?" Remus let out an ironic laugh, "what's not wrong with me?" Adrianna wanted nothing more than to run up to him and hug him, to tell him that it would all be ok, that she accepted him. But she didn't. She sat in her hiding spot, wishing that she was as brave as the bird she saw earlier, maybe then she could comfort Remus.

He walked to the banister, where she was earlier. He stood and looked out at the forest, as she did earlier. And he slowly closed his eyes, as she did earlier. Adrianna watched on in horror as he slowly began to fall apart in front of her. Although every fibre of her being was screaming at her to leave while he was distracted, she stayed. Although she knew better, she slowly spoke.

"Nothing's wrong with you."


	12. Chapter 12

"Adrianna?" He asked, looking up. "What are you doing here?"

"I was... Just thinking" Adrianna said slowly, careful not to give too much away. Remus was silent. Gently Adrianna dropped to her knees and put her arms around him, slowly Remus began to cry, his body shaking with sobs while all Adrianna could do was cuddle him and offer some comfort. Minutes passed and he slowly began to regain control of his sobs,

"Thank you." He whispered. She didn't reply but kept her arms wrapped around him. They slowly sunk into a more comfortable position, their backs resting against the banister, Adrianna's arms still wrapped tightly around Remus.

Slowly he brought his hand up to hover above her hair, when she did not pull back he began to slowly stroke her hair. A quiet yawn escaped her and she closed her eyes slowly. Remus brought her closer, so that her head was resting on his heaving chest. She yawned again.

"You're not a beast. You're a bird."

She said it so quietly that Remus couldn't tell whether he imagined it or not. He couldn't ask as she had fallen asleep. Instead he just help her closer and closed his own eyes.

"If only you knew.."

Sunlight was what woke her from her sleep, immediately Adrianna realised that she was in a very comfortable position, unlike usual. Her eyes snapped open. She took in the sight around her before realising that her pillow was Remus Lupin. Slowly she crept to her feet, careful not to make a noise. Before she knew what she was doing Adrianna leaned in close and kissed his cheek.

"Good morning" she whispered, to which he responded with a gentle smile in his sleep.

Before he could wake up and realise that she was still there Adrianna crept out of the astronomy tower. It was too early for her to go back to the dorm room, she decided to get changed in the room of requirement instead. Slowly she moved towards the 5th floor.

After pacing back and forth three times Adrianna slipped into the concealed room. A shower was placed in the far right corner of the room. Quickly Adrianna walked over to it, noticing two towels on a warmer and her favourite shampoo and conditioner on the shelves in the shower. She slipped in and let the tension escape her body slowly. Relaxing against the hot water, Adrianna began to wash her hair, revealing in the feeling of the warm water.

After her shower Adrianna cast a spell on her wet hair, causing it to become dry and straight, falling past her shoulder blades. Quickly Adrianna changed into the new set of robes laid out for her and cast her usual notice-me-not charm on herself and her belongings.

There was two more hours until she could go to breakfast unnoticed so Adrianna fetched her potions homework from her bag.

As she began the homework she felt her mind clog with thoughts of Remus Lupin. 'What's wrong with me?' He had asked. 'What's not wrong with me?' He had answered. If only he knew that there was nothing wrong with him. That there was so much wrong with her. That he was a bird, strong, able and unafraid. That she was not a bird, that she could never be a bird, no matter how much she tried.

Adrianna had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door opening or the footsteps entering.

"I thought that I would find you here."

She looked up quickly, emerald eyes meeting Amber eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

"Wha-what are you doing here?" Arianna asked started, looking quickly at the ground. He walked closer but sat down far enough away from her that Adrianna's 'privacy bubble' was still intact.

"I was looking for you." He stated simply. She curiously looked up, meeting his gaze again. It took everything that she had not to melt into him again. Stupid crush. She thought.

"I woke up alone and I distinctly remember falling asleep with you. So I thought about it and then decided to try my luck and come here. It seems luck was on my side today." Remus explained, his gaze never leaving Adrianna's.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"For what?"

"Leaving."

"Oh no, i understand... I just hoped to wake up before you so that you wouldn't have left yet."

"Oh." He smiled at her, making her heart skip again.

"Have you finished your potions essay?" Remus asked, tearing his gaze away from Adrianna's to rest on the parchment in front of her.

"Not yet." Adrianna almost whispered.

"Would you like some help with it?"

"Yes please." She mumbled gratefully, for she had been slightly struggling with this particular potion.

"Can I sit closer so that I can see your work?" He asked sincerely, respecting her wishes. She nodded quickly and he scooted over to her, proof reading the work. "Hmm. It seems good so far.. But you've not mentioned anything about the colour of Felix Felicis. It's takes molten gold in colour, very attractive you see. Uhm and also you missed out tincture of thyme on your ingredients list. That seems to be about it. Oh wait, it's also extremely toxic in high quantities." He explained. She nodded gratefully the whole time before quickly writing what he had explained in her delicate cursive.

"Thank you." She whispered once done.

"No problem."

They sat in comfortable silence until Remus couldn't bare it any more.

"Would you like to come on a date with me?" He muttered. Seeing her about to object he added, "it'll be here in the room of requirement so you won't be seen with me. No one will notice you, I promise."

She smiled gently. "I - I would like that." Adrianna's blush covered her pale features.

"Do you want to do it on a weekend?" Remus asked, a giddy smile plastered on his face.

"Okay" Adrianna smiled. "But next weekend, not this one coming."

"Oh are you busy this weekend?" Remus asked, his face falling slightly at the idea that someone else had seen his Adrianna.

"No..." Adrianna replied as if surprised. "You are." She added.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked slowly.

"This weekend is the full moon Remus."


	14. Chapter 14

His eyes filled with surprise. Adrianna couldn't bare to wait for the anger to fill his eyes so she looked down quickly, avoiding his gaze. They sat in silence, each waiting for the other to talk.

"What do you mean?" Remus spluttered eventually.

Adrianna brought her gaze up to meet Remus' again. "I know.. About your condition." Their gazes stayed locked, both understanding their shared knowledge.

"For how long..?"

"Since first year."

"And you're not scared of me?"

"No." Adrianna replied with no hesitation... Although yes, she was scared of him. She was scared of falling even more in love with him, she was scared of being hurt by him and she was scared of losing him. Her eyes fluttered to the ground once again. Remus' stayed fixed on her, the girl who ever since he saw her he had been fascinated with, the girl who was like no one else he'd ever met, the girl who accepted him for who he was.

Slowly Remus began to lean in, desperate to be closer to this magnificent girl. Adrianna's eyes lifted again, suddenly aware of what was happening. It was too late to stop it. All of her doubts left her head all at once and slowly she leaned closer.

Their lips met gently.


	15. Chapter 15

Adrianna felt like the world was crashing in on her and she couldn't bring herself to care. All that she cared about in that moment was the soft feeling of Remus' lips on hers, guiding her into a blissful moment of peace between the two people who cared for one another. And yet a nagging feeling at the back of her mind was telling her to run as far as she could away from this wonderful boy. For the first time in her life Adrianna went against her gut instinct and continued to kiss him.

When they pulled away their eyes met, silently asking each other what just happened. Before either of them knew what was happening Adrianna leaned forwards quickly and reunited their lips. They continued to kiss passionately, all thought seemingly gone. Their lips moved in sync, the two hearts almost beating as one.

Once they'd separated again Remus muttered,

"wow."

Adrianna looked down, a feint pink tainting her cheeks. When she looked up again she was engulfed in his Amber eyes, letting all of the feelings overwhelm her.

"You're amazing." He mumbled after a while, still looking into her eyes, as if seeing into her soul.

"You are perfect." She whispered in reply.

They continued to look into each other's eyes, enjoying the presence of the other

"We need to go soon.. Your friends will want to know where you are." Adrianna mumbled quietly.

Remus stood and offered his hand to Adrianna, which she took and was pulled to her feet. Once they were both standing Remus engulfed her small frame in another hug. He leaned down to her level and slowly whispered, "will you consider being my girlfriend?"

Adrianna brought them face to face so she could look in his eyes. She seemed to be looking for something, a possible lie in his words. After she could not find a trace of a lie Adrianna brought her lips back to his in another kiss.

Just before their lips met again Remus heard a quiet 'yes'.


	16. Chapter 16

And so, as it always does, time passed. Adrianna began to feel whole again. Remus realised that being a werewolf did not make him a monster. They were perfect.

The stares and whispers followed them but Remus shielded Adrianna from them. Even when she had _those_ _dreams_ again, he managed to protect her.

"Remus" she whispered, standing over the werewolf sleeping on the couch of their one bedroom flat.

His eyes opened, "is something wrong?"

"I had a nightmare. I jumped off the astronomy tower."

Remus didn't reply. Instead he wrapped his girlfriend in a hug.

"Shh it's ok. I'll make you a cup of tea, we can read a little then go back to bed."

A smile graced her lips. "Thank you".


End file.
